I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
