on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
