wakey wakey hands off snakey
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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