Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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