is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
