i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
