I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
