is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
