O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
