i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
