we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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