I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
This is my gift to your gina
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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