Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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