No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize