He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
