don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
