The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
