Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
