This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
