I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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