I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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