Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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