Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
