please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
