I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
