I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
me + whiskey = a bad person
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
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