she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
i think i just lost a toe
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
i out mim tonsoeep
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