We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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