We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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