whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
