Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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