Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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