Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
