If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Just puked most of my soul out..
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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