I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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