i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
