omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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