I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
This baby is an asshole
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
