i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
