I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
