Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
