My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
