I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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