And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
How many fucks given?
0.12846
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
