Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
