Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
