Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
