My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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