Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
