dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
