break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
