Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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