after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
