We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Still dying that you shit outside
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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