oh god the rape fog is back!
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize