Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
