May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
