He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize