all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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