She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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